Gratitude Costs Nothing

Written By: Kim - May• 28•14

I ran into a fellow train commuter this week while I was coming back from a client’s site visit. He had just returned from a two-week trip to Greece. He looked glum and pouty. I told him that he should look much happier since he just returned from a two-week vacation in Greece. His reply? “Not when I had to pay off my son’s college tuition.”

Welcome to the USA where everyone is privileged and they complain about it. Welcome to the plight of the poor federal government worker (who also gets a retirement check from the US Air Force) who can afford a two-week vacation in another country, pay off his kid’s college tuition and then whines about it.

I was completely disgusted with him and by the end of our hour commute home, I had to speak my mind.

I suggested that he should stop be ungrateful and start keeping a gratitude journal; at the end of every day, he should write down three things that he is grateful for. His acerbic reply? “You are your own boss now. Of course you are happy.” In my mind, I was already smacking him, Gibbs-style.

I started keeping a gratitude journal about a year ago when a colleague (thanks Amanda) recommended it. Everything in my life was good except my job. I was stuck in a no-win professional situation that was dragging me slowly into an abyss of misery. If you think that this is an over dramatization, it’s not. I love my profession and take pride in what I do. Not having this part of my life working was extremely painful. I knew that it had consumed me when my teenage son said that he “never wants to be as miserable as me in any job he holds.” Ouch.

When the right opportunity presented itself, I made the plunge and quit my job to start a consulting business. Was it a complete leap of faith? Yes. Was I freaked out by the prospect of owning a business and generating incoming? Just a little. Ok, a lot. But, being captain of your destiny is not for the faint of heart. If it were easy, we would all be business owners. But, circumstances often dictate a different course of action. You just have to see the path and be open to it. Let me repeat that: You just have to see the path and be open to it.

If you know me, you know that I often like to have the last word. And, yes, it sometimes gets me into trouble. I couldn’t let his comment slip by. My reply to the comfortable career government employee bemoaning his two-week vacation and the ability to pay off his son’s college tuition? I told him that he too could be his own boss, if he really wanted it.

“It’s easy. All you have to do is make your plan, walk in and quit your job.”

I walked off the train that evening grateful for who I was and how I handle myself, even through the miserable times. And, I walked away completely grateful that this putz was not my husband.

A Love Letter to My Family

Written By: Kim - Dec• 31•13

I cannot believe that 2013 is already ending. What a wonderful, busy year it has been. The three of you are the center of my world. Ok, the four of you, if you count Sydney. No matter what kind of day I am having, seeing you, catching up and spending time with you all makes the day complete. And at the end of our lives, loving each other is what matters the most. Always.

Sydney enjoys the summer lake ride. ©Mike Howard, 2012

Sydney enjoys the summer lake ride. ©Mike Howard, 2012

Connor here are the highlights that I remember this year. You have:

  • Finished your freshman year on the high school swim team and received your letter. Congratulations!
  • Improved your swim times despite the grumbling about practice.
  • Started your sophomore year in high school.
  • Showed an interest in track. Let’s see where the spring takes you.
  • Earned your drivers permit. Look out locals.
  • Started dating a lovely young woman. Again.
  • Learned how to do your own laundry. Score one for you and me.
  • Volunteered to help the swim team with the smaller kids. I think you actually enjoyed it, although you will never admit it to me.
  • Mourned a friend’s second year anniversary of his early death. You were honest with me about your tense behavior and I was proud of you. I do not ever wish for you to experience heartbreak, but it is good to know that you feel that you can be honest with me when you are hurting. I know this is not easy. Ever.

Abby, here are the highlights that I remember this year. You have:

  • Become a teen. Although I suspect you were actually one before your official birthday.

    Girls beach vacation, 2013.

    Girls beach vacation, 2013.

  • Embraced your amazing curly, thick hair. You now wear it with pride. Remember to always distinguish yourself.
  • Saw Justin Bieber in concert. Again. And, you saw his movie. And, we didn’t have to pay for any of it.
  • Started a regular babysitting gig and understand a little about what it’s like to be a mom.
  • Created a thoughtful, homemade Christmas gift for your Dad. Out of all of the things that you did this year, this made me the most proud of you. You gave someone you love a gift created out of love.
  • Recommended that I read “The Giver.” I am still not happy about the ending, but I loved the book anyway.
  • Shared a girls trip to the beach with me over the summer. I learned a lot about you because we had time alone together. I cherished that trip and hope we can do one again in 2014.

Mike, here are the highlights that I remember this year. You have:

  • Positano, Italy 2011. ©MikeHoward

    Positano, Italy 2011. ©MikeHoward

    Continued to be a loving supporting, husband and father. You are my biggest fan and I love you more now than I did when we walked down the aisle 22 years ago.

As this is the last post of 2013, and sentimental, it’s because I love you all. My heart is full because all of you are in my life.