Gratitude Costs Nothing

Written By: Kim - May• 28•14

I ran into a fellow train commuter this week while I was coming back from a client’s site visit. He had just returned from a two-week trip to Greece. He looked glum and pouty. I told him that he should look much happier since he just returned from a two-week vacation in Greece. His reply? “Not when I had to pay off my son’s college tuition.”

Welcome to the USA where everyone is privileged and they complain about it. Welcome to the plight of the poor federal government worker (who also gets a retirement check from the US Air Force) who can afford a two-week vacation in another country, pay off his kid’s college tuition and then whines about it.

I was completely disgusted with him and by the end of our hour commute home, I had to speak my mind.

I suggested that he should stop be ungrateful and start keeping a gratitude journal; at the end of every day, he should write down three things that he is grateful for. His acerbic reply? “You are your own boss now. Of course you are happy.” In my mind, I was already smacking him, Gibbs-style.

I started keeping a gratitude journal about a year ago when a colleague (thanks Amanda) recommended it. Everything in my life was good except my job. I was stuck in a no-win professional situation that was dragging me slowly into an abyss of misery. If you think that this is an over dramatization, it’s not. I love my profession and take pride in what I do. Not having this part of my life working was extremely painful. I knew that it had consumed me when my teenage son said that he “never wants to be as miserable as me in any job he holds.” Ouch.

When the right opportunity presented itself, I made the plunge and quit my job to start a consulting business. Was it a complete leap of faith? Yes. Was I freaked out by the prospect of owning a business and generating incoming? Just a little. Ok, a lot. But, being captain of your destiny is not for the faint of heart. If it were easy, we would all be business owners. But, circumstances often dictate a different course of action. You just have to see the path and be open to it. Let me repeat that: You just have to see the path and be open to it.

If you know me, you know that I often like to have the last word. And, yes, it sometimes gets me into trouble. I couldn’t let his comment slip by. My reply to the comfortable career government employee bemoaning his two-week vacation and the ability to pay off his son’s college tuition? I told him that he too could be his own boss, if he really wanted it.

“It’s easy. All you have to do is make your plan, walk in and quit your job.”

I walked off the train that evening grateful for who I was and how I handle myself, even through the miserable times. And, I walked away completely grateful that this putz was not my husband.

Posted in business, College, consulting, Failure, faith, gratitude, Marriage, Parenting, Pursuing Talents, self esteem, Service, Travel, Writing , , , , , , , , , , , , | No Comments »

The Limited Coat that Offers Decades of Warmth

Written By: Kim - Jan• 08•14
The 1989 coat from The Limited. Still in excellent condition.

The 1989 coat from The Limited. Still in excellent condition.

When I moved to Washington, DC, in 1989, from Alabama, I begged my frugal, depression-era mother to purchase this amazing, modern, dark navy blue wool coat that hits about mid-calf. I was starting a journalism internship at the National Journalism Center and would be in the metro area until mid-December.

The coat was from The Limited and they had layaway, if I recall correctly. It was hot as hell that summer, like it normally is in southern Alabama, and putting a coat on layaway, especially one this intense, seemed silly. But I knew I would need it for the fall internship in DC. I had a thinner car coat, which was normally sufficient in an Alabama winter where we might end up wearing shorts on Christmas Day. In 1989 in Washington, DC., it snowed that Thanksgiving. I remember because my sister, who lived in Maryland, picked me up that Wednesday and we drove to her home as the snow accumulated.

We were a single paycheck family, I was the last of five and $200 was a lot of money. My father, as you may recall, served in the US Army as an enlisted GI. My mother was a homemaker and grew up in The Great Depression. In our home, there was a difference between necessity and luxury; between desire and need. After much negotiation on my part, she finally agreed.

Twenty-five years later, through weight gain and losses, pregnancies, five homes and three dogs, I still have this coat. I asked a tailor to replace the lining and added white alpaca fur around the collar and sleeves a few years ago just to give it a different look. The coat is in excellent shape and my parents definitely got their $200 out of it. In fact, it cost my parents roughly $8 annually for me to wear this coat since then.

On days when we experience frigid weather, especially as we have this week in the DC area, I am extremely grateful that I still have this coat. Maybe that’s why I still hang it in my closet. Aside from the fact that it’s still useful, my parents made a sacrifice for me, as they did often.

Paired with a pair of knee-high leather boots and the memory of my my mother’s love, it’s all I need to stay warm.

Posted in Alabama, Clothing, College, Dad, Journalism, Military Service, Mom, Parenting, The Limited, Travel, Weight loss , , , , , , , , , | No Comments »
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