What I Learned at Oprah’s Live the Life You Want Tour

Written By: Kim - Sep• 28•14

When a good friend approached me this past spring about going to the Oprah’s Live the Life You Want Tour, the timing wasn’t exactly great. I had just started my consulting business the same month and every dollar mattered. But, I decided that it was too good of an opportunity to turn down.

2014-09-26 18.09.16The weekend was really about self-development, be it personal or professional. While we were not in the most glamorous location, here’s what I learned in Newark, NJ.

  • People love Oprah, especially women. Brave men came along with their significant other or partner. Hats off to you men for sharing this experience with someone in your life who matters to you.
  • The lack of basic self esteem is astounding in people. I don’t mean someone who criticizes their feet or hair, but deep-seeded feelings of despondency, whether they are successful or not. Oprah brought a woman up on stage who had four children and a master’s degree (she looked so young) and she was beating herself up because she wasn’t using her master’s degree in her job.
  • Women really do support other women, despite all of the negative headlines. When this woman was on stage, Oprah pointed out that she had accomplished quit a feat: she had four young children and had completed her master’s degree. As she continued to cry (Oprah really is the best therapist) someone in our section yelled out as it became quiet, “We believe.” We believe in you. What support.
  • People make a difference in this world, even with the small resources they have available. One of this tour’s sponsors was Toyota. On this tour, their foundation hands out grants to deserving organizations during the day that is called a Toyota Standing Ovation. On our stop, the Camden Sophisticated Sisters received not only $25,000 from Toyota, but a $25,000 match from a woman in the audience. I realize that all causes are worthy, but this particular story was riveting. A 15 year-old single mother, challenged by her grandfather, kept this organization going after the funding dried up. Thirty years and three more children of her own, the CSS students have a 100% high school graduation completion record in a city that has a 50% drop out rate. Making a difference in so many lives – one at a time. Wonderful.
  • You have to own your destiny. Look, you can’t control who your parents are or where you came from, but you can control where you are going. You are the only one who can decide what is best for you; what your quest is; where you belong. It may not always fit into a nice idea that other people have and you will encounter plenty of naysayers. Screw them. You get on your quest and follow your dream. And, quite frankly, the naysayers may have to be cut out of your life if they can’t support you. Remove the negative language from your life and replace it with phrases like: I’m on my way, I can do anything, I know my life has meaning, I listen to my heart, I am taking steps to be healthier. You get the idea.

2014-09-27 09.08.57So, if I am going to share this small amount of feedback about this tremendous experience, then I should share my new vision that I created this weekend. Yeah, Oprah gave us homework.

My New Vision

  1. I am becoming a financially-secure business owner.
  2. I will be more present during family moments.
  3. I will speak gently to myself and others, removing negativity so that those words do not get left in my couch cushion (per a story Oprah told about Maya Angelou).
  4. I have a mission to make sure that my family knows how much they matter to me and how beautiful my life is because of them.
  5. I’m on my way to traveling more with my family so that we all can experience what the world has to offer.

Let me know if you create a new vision so that I can find out if there is any way that I can support you (other than cheering you on)!

Gratitude Costs Nothing

Written By: Kim - May• 28•14

I ran into a fellow train commuter this week while I was coming back from a client’s site visit. He had just returned from a two-week trip to Greece. He looked glum and pouty. I told him that he should look much happier since he just returned from a two-week vacation in Greece. His reply? “Not when I had to pay off my son’s college tuition.”

Welcome to the USA where everyone is privileged and they complain about it. Welcome to the plight of the poor federal government worker (who also gets a retirement check from the US Air Force) who can afford a two-week vacation in another country, pay off his kid’s college tuition and then whines about it.

I was completely disgusted with him and by the end of our hour commute home, I had to speak my mind.

I suggested that he should stop be ungrateful and start keeping a gratitude journal; at the end of every day, he should write down three things that he is grateful for. His acerbic reply? “You are your own boss now. Of course you are happy.” In my mind, I was already smacking him, Gibbs-style.

I started keeping a gratitude journal about a year ago when a colleague (thanks Amanda) recommended it. Everything in my life was good except my job. I was stuck in a no-win professional situation that was dragging me slowly into an abyss of misery. If you think that this is an over dramatization, it’s not. I love my profession and take pride in what I do. Not having this part of my life working was extremely painful. I knew that it had consumed me when my teenage son said that he “never wants to be as miserable as me in any job he holds.” Ouch.

When the right opportunity presented itself, I made the plunge and quit my job to start a consulting business. Was it a complete leap of faith? Yes. Was I freaked out by the prospect of owning a business and generating incoming? Just a little. Ok, a lot. But, being captain of your destiny is not for the faint of heart. If it were easy, we would all be business owners. But, circumstances often dictate a different course of action. You just have to see the path and be open to it. Let me repeat that: You just have to see the path and be open to it.

If you know me, you know that I often like to have the last word. And, yes, it sometimes gets me into trouble. I couldn’t let his comment slip by. My reply to the comfortable career government employee bemoaning his two-week vacation and the ability to pay off his son’s college tuition? I told him that he too could be his own boss, if he really wanted it.

“It’s easy. All you have to do is make your plan, walk in and quit your job.”

I walked off the train that evening grateful for who I was and how I handle myself, even through the miserable times. And, I walked away completely grateful that this putz was not my husband.