Three Things I Miss Most about My Mom

Written By: Kim - May• 11•13

It has been 11 years since my Mom passed away. In celebration of Mom’s everywhere, here’s a post remembering the woman who gave birth to and raised me. While I miss many things about my Mom, here are my top three.

Marie Wickline and me, Savannah, GA, 1970

Marie Wickline and me, Savannah, GA, 1970

  1. Her gift of voice. Kids now do not really understand how loud a mother’s voice can be. We had old school cell phones: Mom yelling throughout the neighborhood for you to come home for dinner. If you could not hear your Mom’s voice, then you must have left the neighborhood. There would be hell to pay when you finally showed up late. At the time my Mom died, she did not own a cell phone so there is no outgoing voicemail message I can call and listen to. And, quite frankly, even if she had, my Dad probably would have cancelled it by now anyway. He is pragmatic about paying a bill for something that is no longer necessary. I have old film and audio tapes that I am sure I could have converted so I could listen and watch. But, honestly, I am not sure how painful that would be.
  2. Her gift of possibility. My Mom told me that I could do and be anything I wanted. The oldest child of Italian immigrants, my Mom grew up in the depression. She lived through World War II while her parents ran a local grocery store. She raised her four children alone after her first marriage dissolved. She continued to raise the younger of the four and me, partially alone when my Dad was deployed with the US Army. Aside from the challenges she faced, she gave me unconditional love and raised me with good self esteem. I saw her attend junior college classes in her 50s. I saw her stand by her man through his struggle with alcoholism, his eventual win and conversion to Catholicism. Anything is possible.
  3. Her gift of faith. My mother had a good life, but she also had a realistic life. Ups and downs were simply part of it. She handled them well whether that meant private anguish or public gracefulness.

Other than literally hearing my Mom’s voice, the two things that I miss the most have never really left me. She instilled in me the gift of possibility and faith. Perhaps that is why she used to remind me: “With God, all things are possible.”

For those of you who still have your Mom around, give her an extra hug for those of us who are now motherless. And thank her again for all that she has done for you. You never really understand that until you become a Mom.

Happy Mother’s Day!

Social Media Makes Strange Friendfellows

Written By: Kim - May• 01•13

About four months ago, I received a call from a woman that I did not know while I was making dinner. She was looking for someone with the same name who lived in my area. I kept sifting my memory as she was telling me her story, catching up. I wondered if early senility was setting in. I could not remember who this woman was. Donna. School, past jobs, where did I know her from? When she said something about working for a four star general at the Pentagon, that’s when I knew I did not know her. I’ve never worked for either.

© Mihaylova 2013 courtesy of stock.xchng

© Mihaylova 2013 courtesy of stock.xchng

When I politely stopped her with, “I think you have the wrong person,” she was completely flustered. She apologized profusely. I told her that I wish I were the woman she was looking for because she was trying to make amends and repair a broken relationship. I was touched by her honestly and her story. I wished her luck and we hung up. A few minutes later, Donna called me again. She asked if we could become friends on Facebook. I said yes.

I have a few friends whom I only know through social media or whom I became friends with on social media first. I know that it seems odd, cultivating a friendship with someone you have never met. But, we did as children. Remember pen pals?

Growing up a military brat forced me to make new friends every school year. This didn’t necessarily mean that I was the new one in school. But it meant that I had to be more open to strangers. I had to find a way to fit in when I was the new kid. Or, I felt compelled to help the new kid fit in. Being the new kid in school often sucks. It just does and there’s no way to get around it but to go thru it.

That said, I don’t accept friend requests from just anyone. But, I have found great joy in all my friends, no matter the source.