Gratitude Costs Nothing

Written By: Kim - May• 28•14

I ran into a fellow train commuter this week while I was coming back from a client’s site visit. He had just returned from a two-week trip to Greece. He looked glum and pouty. I told him that he should look much happier since he just returned from a two-week vacation in Greece. His reply? “Not when I had to pay off my son’s college tuition.”

Welcome to the USA where everyone is privileged and they complain about it. Welcome to the plight of the poor federal government worker (who also gets a retirement check from the US Air Force) who can afford a two-week vacation in another country, pay off his kid’s college tuition and then whines about it.

I was completely disgusted with him and by the end of our hour commute home, I had to speak my mind.

I suggested that he should stop be ungrateful and start keeping a gratitude journal; at the end of every day, he should write down three things that he is grateful for. His acerbic reply? “You are your own boss now. Of course you are happy.” In my mind, I was already smacking him, Gibbs-style.

I started keeping a gratitude journal about a year ago when a colleague (thanks Amanda) recommended it. Everything in my life was good except my job. I was stuck in a no-win professional situation that was dragging me slowly into an abyss of misery. If you think that this is an over dramatization, it’s not. I love my profession and take pride in what I do. Not having this part of my life working was extremely painful. I knew that it had consumed me when my teenage son said that he “never wants to be as miserable as me in any job he holds.” Ouch.

When the right opportunity presented itself, I made the plunge and quit my job to start a consulting business. Was it a complete leap of faith? Yes. Was I freaked out by the prospect of owning a business and generating incoming? Just a little. Ok, a lot. But, being captain of your destiny is not for the faint of heart. If it were easy, we would all be business owners. But, circumstances often dictate a different course of action. You just have to see the path and be open to it. Let me repeat that: You just have to see the path and be open to it.

If you know me, you know that I often like to have the last word. And, yes, it sometimes gets me into trouble. I couldn’t let his comment slip by. My reply to the comfortable career government employee bemoaning his two-week vacation and the ability to pay off his son’s college tuition? I told him that he too could be his own boss, if he really wanted it.

“It’s easy. All you have to do is make your plan, walk in and quit your job.”

I walked off the train that evening grateful for who I was and how I handle myself, even through the miserable times. And, I walked away completely grateful that this putz was not my husband.

A Love Letter to my Husband

Written By: Kim - Nov• 28•12

Today is my husband’s birthday. I can’t think of a better way to honor him than writing him a love letter.

Positano, Italy 2011. ©MikeHoward

Dear Mike:

God brought you into my life 22 years ago. He gave us two beautiful children. He has blessed us with many more ups than downs and has carried us through bleak times. While our life is not always picture perfect, it is about as close as you can get to heaven. We love, we laugh, we argue, we travel, we teach and we learn. We used to have more free time and money before we had children, but we both know how empty we would feel without them. Marrying you was never a mistake. Bringing our children in to the world was not one either.

1. Thank you for making me a part of your life.

2. Thank you for loving my parents and our children.

3. Thank you for always being generous, even when I returned the diamond tennis bracelet.

4. Thank you for attending church with me and the children consistently before you converted. You always led by example.

5. Thank you for leaving love notes in my luggage when I go away on a business trip.

6. Thank you for always believing in me and having my back.

7. Thank you for cooking on Monday nights when you know the first day back at work and school is hard on all of us.

8. Thank you for never giving up on yourself even when times were scary and tough.

9. Loving you is easy. Living the daily grind is often not. Our grit and faith in God helps us get through everything.

10. You were the best thing that happened to me. I can’t imagine my life without you or our children.

Love, Kim