A Love Letter to My Family

Written By: Kim - Dec• 31•13

I cannot believe that 2013 is already ending. What a wonderful, busy year it has been. The three of you are the center of my world. Ok, the four of you, if you count Sydney. No matter what kind of day I am having, seeing you, catching up and spending time with you all makes the day complete. And at the end of our lives, loving each other is what matters the most. Always.

Sydney enjoys the summer lake ride. ©Mike Howard, 2012

Sydney enjoys the summer lake ride. ©Mike Howard, 2012

Connor here are the highlights that I remember this year. You have:

  • Finished your freshman year on the high school swim team and received your letter. Congratulations!
  • Improved your swim times despite the grumbling about practice.
  • Started your sophomore year in high school.
  • Showed an interest in track. Let’s see where the spring takes you.
  • Earned your drivers permit. Look out locals.
  • Started dating a lovely young woman. Again.
  • Learned how to do your own laundry. Score one for you and me.
  • Volunteered to help the swim team with the smaller kids. I think you actually enjoyed it, although you will never admit it to me.
  • Mourned a friend’s second year anniversary of his early death. You were honest with me about your tense behavior and I was proud of you. I do not ever wish for you to experience heartbreak, but it is good to know that you feel that you can be honest with me when you are hurting. I know this is not easy. Ever.

Abby, here are the highlights that I remember this year. You have:

  • Become a teen. Although I suspect you were actually one before your official birthday.

    Girls beach vacation, 2013.

    Girls beach vacation, 2013.

  • Embraced your amazing curly, thick hair. You now wear it with pride. Remember to always distinguish yourself.
  • Saw Justin Bieber in concert. Again. And, you saw his movie. And, we didn’t have to pay for any of it.
  • Started a regular babysitting gig and understand a little about what it’s like to be a mom.
  • Created a thoughtful, homemade Christmas gift for your Dad. Out of all of the things that you did this year, this made me the most proud of you. You gave someone you love a gift created out of love.
  • Recommended that I read “The Giver.” I am still not happy about the ending, but I loved the book anyway.
  • Shared a girls trip to the beach with me over the summer. I learned a lot about you because we had time alone together. I cherished that trip and hope we can do one again in 2014.

Mike, here are the highlights that I remember this year. You have:

  • Positano, Italy 2011. ©MikeHoward

    Positano, Italy 2011. ©MikeHoward

    Continued to be a loving supporting, husband and father. You are my biggest fan and I love you more now than I did when we walked down the aisle 22 years ago.

As this is the last post of 2013, and sentimental, it’s because I love you all. My heart is full because all of you are in my life.

Moving on Without Forgetting

Written By: Kim - Sep• 08•12

I ran in to my son’s junior school counselor last week. My daughter is now a student at this school and had forgotten something in her locker. The counselor asked how my son’s first week of high school was going and I said that he was more enthusiastic about school than ever before. She then said that his class was ready to leave and move on to high school; that it was time for them to go.

At the time, I simply reflected on the fact that upper grade students are often ready to move on. Students become itchy during a transition year. But the class of 2016’s readiness in our small community may have a different motivation for leaving junior high school: two classmates died that year. One by suicide and one after an illness. And, both within a few months of each other.

Moving on to high school meant no longer entering school doors daily that reminded the class of 2016 that their friends were gone. Dealing with death is never easy. Ever. But dealing with it at such a tender age, especially when it is a peer, is almost unthinkable.

While I can only speak for our experience with my son’s friend, the seventh of every month brings Facebook comments about missing Connor Albright. It is only through her son’s death that I now know his Mom and I lend the support the only way I know how: letting her know that we have not forgotten him and that we continue to pray that God eases the burden of loss.

On Connor Albright’s birthday last month, his Mom went to his gravesite early. She posted that she just couldn’t handle visiting him on the actual day. When I read her post, I was home. I cried like a baby. Not only did it break my heart that her child was gone, but that her burden was still heavy. The loved ones he left behind were still grieving. The world is a little less brighter because he is gone and their lives changed forever. I met Connor once and he left such a wonderful impression on me. I know that he entered the hearts of everyone who knew him, my son included. To love him daily during his life was a privilege, one that I know his family felt.

My son Connor is now a freshman in high school. My husband and I are looking at each other wondering if there was some sort of fast forward on our lives. Wasn’t he just starting kindergarten? Unlike some other school years, he seems to have embraced entering high school. Like many boys, he doesn’t really seem to enjoy school other than when he socializes. I sometimes wonder if he is so willing to go on to high school because of his loss.

Along with two friends, my Connor visited Connor Albright’s grave on his birthday. They shouldered the burden of grief together, the three of them, so that someone else’s grief may be lessened slightly that day. As always, we never know the reactions our actions will have. We simply hope that what we say and do impacts someone else in a positive way.

We miss you Connor Albright. But, we’re doing our best to move on without forgetting either.